| Practica |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|12:26 am] |
Yo he decidido en que necesito escribir aqui mas porque es una oportunidad para practicar mi espanol y para buscar palabras que quiero usar pero no conozco. Entonces, voy a escribir mas. No se si gente lee esto pero no es importante. Lo siento que no puedo usar accentos o tildes pero el formato de livejournal no los sostiene.
Bueno... he escrito suficiente para hoy. Buenas noches. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2007|02:56 am] |
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just got back from the going away party at bryan's. good god. last time i might ever see kim. hopefully not, but very possible. i am very sad right now. i love those people... it's so fucked up that i might never see so many people ever again. they have been a part of me since i can remember... and now they are all nothing more than memories. damn. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|01:41 am] |
I have a strict policy of forcing myself to look on the bright side of any situation, and except in extreme circumstances, it always keeps my from getting hurt. It is a very patient process that takes more mental discipline than I'd like to discuss.
But lately, with a serious lack of people who deserve to be cared about, and the unyeilding desire to care, looking on the bright side is becoming very difficult. I used to be all about other people, and making them happy... but that's not a good thing. Keeping others happy means accepting an incessant stream of getting myself fucked over. At the same time, though, having a selfish attitude is childish, and it doesn't make me happy.
Sigh. I'll learn. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|12:36 am] |
i don't update this much anymore but something just happened to me that i feel as a human being i need to share with the rest of the world. and yes, you guessed it, it involves me taking a shit.
so i'm sitting on the toilet making my dookey time, and feel what would seem to be a spider crawling down my back. now, everyone knows i hate spiders, but i never thought them to be such horrid creatures as to attack one in one's most vulnerable state of the day (that is, when one is wiping one's ass). so i thought to myself 'god, they just don't get any lower than this.' but i was wrong, because i felt it crawlnig lower, and it was crawling very quickly. so i jumped off the toilet like i was a rocket, and my shit was the fuel, and i started swatting at my back like a horse's tail on steroids, only to find that it wasn't a spider at all. it was a thread hanging off the back of my shirt. so i pulled it off, and resumed my business.
and that's the end of that story. |
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| John 16:33 |
[Jul. 4th, 2007|12:59 pm] |
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"I have said these things to you that, in me, you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." |
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| the rafting trip |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|05:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
Everything I said in the previous entry is officially void. I've never been as happy in my life as I am in this moment.
First, and most importantly, I have no doubt whatsoever in my heart that there is a loving God who reigns over this earth. He is involved in one way or another with absolutely every action that occurrs, without exception.
Second, that God is proud of me. He is proud of me. After everything I've done to hurt Him, every action that I've taken to sin against him, he is still proud. Despite every flaw, many of which are unforgivable by people, are forgiven by Him.
I was forgiven today. Not for the first time. I used to think that forgiveness came only from loving Jesus, which is something I have always done, and so I assumed that I was always forgiven for the sins that I was committing. Sins that I even knew were wrong as I was committing them. There was a time when i was repentant, but that time had been over. I was out to please myself and only myself... not for long, but for long enough to lose the passoin and conviction that I had in God.
But today I experienced the most amazing feeling that I've ever had in my life. I was in my car, and after everything that had all ready happened (because every moment of this trip was amazing; I learned so much every second of every day) I started to thank God for loving me... and I felt the Holy Spirit come over me in the most amazing way. I felt every bit of God's power flood into my car, and into my heart. He showed himself to me finally in the way that I've been waiting for for so long. I am saved. Finally, I am saved.
I knew I would go to Heaven before, that was a given. I had been forgiven, and I had a desire to do good... but I wasn't doing good. I was doing evil, and I know that. I was living for myself, based on the hurts and fears instilled in my by others, I was living for myself. It was a wrong path to take, and now I realize that the path I was on before was the right one. God flooded into my car, and I cried and laughed and shouted out thanks to God all the way home. There is only one way that I can thank Him for the amazing thing he's done:
Keep it up. This time, I know, I will be able to do that. I won't ever let Him get away from me again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|05:43 pm] |
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I'm sick of being a mindless little parasite, my happiness dependant on the moods and actions of those around me. This stupid herd animal mindset that the human creature is plauged with needs to leave me now and forever, especially when i can't count on anybody to satisfy this stupid fucking dependancy. |
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| and then it finally hits me |
[May. 26th, 2007|11:56 pm] |
i'm not sure i've ever felt anything so profoundly painful in my life. it's a hollowness, a certain emptiness, an unfillable void that can never be covered. i could always do what i'm used to doing: give up and resort to the only thing i know, no matter how much i'll inevitably bleed because of it... or i could sit and wallow in pity for a month or two until the tears stop flowing.
fuck. |
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| Throw it all away |
[May. 22nd, 2007|10:22 pm] |
Don’t know who to trust
No surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust
And the lies
Trying not to break
But I’m so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
I take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
‘Cause I swear
For the last time
I won’t trust myself with you
Tension is building inside
Steadily
Everyone feel sso far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way
Out of me
I won’t trust myself with you
I won’t waste myself on you
Waste myself on you
You
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2006|07:08 pm] |
Since I almost never update my journal, I think that from now on when I do, it's going to be in Spanish... 'cause I need to learn it well enough to speak fluently by the time I go to Mexico.
Bueno, aqui va. Hoy, voy a ir a Homecoming de Armada con mi novia y sus amigas. Despues, vamos con su madre al cine para ver Employee of the Month con Dane Cook. w00t...o! |
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